Conversations with C

C: "I don't think Jonesy is attacking Felix. He's only hugging him."
M: "Yeah, he's hugging Felix with his teeth buried in his neck."

Before that: C washes his hands and looks for a towel. Deciding that the nearest one is too far away (just out of reach), he wipes his hands in my dressing gown.

M: "What are you doing!"
C: "It's like a towel."
M: "It's a dressing gown, and I'm wearing it!"
C: "But my hands are clean."
M *groans*