High school reunion awkwardness...

[rimturse]

...might be eminent with a former friend whom I've known since I was 12, although we didn't become friends until we were 16-17 years old. The friendship lasted about 8 years and it was her decision to end it.

What happened, the short version:
As a newly graduated lawyer, against the advice from her boss, she took on a case for my neighbour who had decided to sue me for what equals 450 USD. In her own words "We're both reasonable, objective and intelligent people and I know we can keep the case separate from our friendship. It's nothing personal, I'm just doing my job."

And I agreed. We continued to hang out, meet up for dinner, shopping etc., not mentioning the case with one word. I took all the paperwork to a free lawyer in town who laughed.his.arse.off. It was apparently ridiculous, there was no case, I had done nothing wrong. I was to keep all the papers they would send me but do absolutely nothing.

So I did. Over the course of the few months, with fines and added lawyer fees, the amount went from 450 USD to 1800 USD - and then the letters stopped coming. As did my friend. She was supposed to come for dinner at my place but never showed up. I tried to call and drop by her place several times over the couple of weeks, but the phone was not picked up and the door not opened, even though there was light in her apartment.

In the end I wrote her a letter, saying I hoped that it was not the case that had come between us and that I would be sad to loose our friendship and would she please contact me? If I did not hear from her, then I would assume that she felt that she could not continue our friendship because of the case and that I would of course respect that.

That was 11 years ago.

Now how does one react at a high school reunion party? I'm not one for fake smiles and pretending nothing ever happened, so then what? My game plan at the moment is a polite hello and then do my best to discreetly avoid her the rest of the evening.

I was disappointed at the time, but I'm not hurt, offended or insulted. Friends should be friends because they want to be friends. I just don't have the energy to deal with her, although we were close at one point, she could be difficult enough to be with while we were friends. I just hope that if she attends the party she will leave me in peace.

Comments

[angrboda]

I would do the same. The greeting upon arrival and then avoid her. Since she was the one to break the friendship, if she wants anything, she should come to you. Not the other way around.

[frigg.livejournal.com]

*nods*
I'll do that and hope she doesn't come to me. I have nothing to say to her.

[angrboda]

Yeah, if she did, she had better have a long sob story prepared. And it had better be true too.

[darkspires.livejournal.com]

She probably realised she had made a fool of herself by taking on the case that she seriously thought she would win. Hence the nice little speech to about 'it won't affect our friendship'.

I would go for the polite, but distanctly cold nod that acknowledges someone's existence among the living, but does not invite them over to talk.

If she does come over to talk, despite this, then I would use my father's approach, and he had a lu lu just for women. To get rid of them at light speed, he would say "Hello (woman's name), my you're looking fat/old/lifeless/decrepid. The favorite insult was fat and the departure would be guarenteed.

[frigg.livejournal.com]

Your father really was a snark! My favourite has got to be decrepid. :)

Yeah, looking back, her little speech did prove to be a bad case of double moral.

[cathemery.livejournal.com]

Wow. I hope so, too.

But -- it's not much use spending a lot of energy planning what to do. When and if you see her again, you may discover your feelings are different than what you think now. (Or not.)

If it does turn into an exciting evening of spilled drinks, toothpick duels at midnight, snappy repartee and lost shoes, please do tell. . .. ;)

(Against the advice of her boss -- that's such a *terrific* way to get started on a career. /end sarcasm)

[frigg.livejournal.com]

toothpick duels??? *lol*

[cathemery.livejournal.com]

It seemed much more likely there'd be toothpicks out for fruit or cheese than rapiers or other blades hanging on the walls, but what do I know? You're in a different country. . . .maybe everyone brings their own 7" stiletto to stab fruit and cheese. ;)